Week 1 - Ballroom Dancing Lessons

When I was 4 years old, my ballet teacher told my mom that I was the most uncoordinated child in the class, and that perhaps ballet was not for me.

When I was 18 years old, a 'friend' I used to go to the clubs with told me that I was the most uncoordinated person she had ever seen, and mocked me mercilessly whenever I even thought about setting foot on the dance floor.

Sense a pattern here? Needless to say, my confidence in my dance moves is shaky at best.

With good reason. After working through the self-esteem issues imposed by people such as my ballet teacher, who clearly felt - mistakenly - that honesty was the best policy, I will acknowledge that my groove style is more akin to Elaine Benes than Mikhail Baryshnikov.

Perhaps I'm underselling. Hold on to your hats, ladies and gents, it gets worse.

Picture Elaine Benes, throwing in the occasional John Travolta "superstar" move from Saturday Night Fever (yes, I cringe to say this is indeed my 'go to' move, to be relied upon whenever I am feeling self-conscious or insecure...because that's the way to fit in with the cool kids on the dance floor):

A dancer I am NOT (well, other than the polka, which my dad taught my sister and I in the basement of our house, because every good Ukrainian girl MUST know how to polka...yes, when it comes to the polka, I'm a whirling dervish of footwork and fun!!).

Bottom line, though, a dancer I am NOT.

But recently....ok, I can't just jump right into Thing #1 without giving you the other sordid part of this story.

Here goes. I'm addicted to reality television. The Amazing Race, The Bachelor and Bachelorette, The Sing Off, America's Got Talent....yes, I will out myself and even admit I watch Dating in the Dark (feel free to cringe, boo, or simply feel sorry for my significant lack of taste and obviously empty social calendar).

And recently, I've added a new show to the reality television line-up.

Dancing With the Stars.

I have no idea how or why I started watching (heaven knows, my reality tv line-up wasn't looking for new entrants). All I know is that I watched it once, and I was hooked. This show excites me, it keeps me entertained and - most importantly - it makes me want to cha cha cha my two left feet onto the nearest dance floor. Because if the extremely wooden Bristol Palin can make the DWTS final, then I can certainly give a lesson or two a whirl.

So...New Activity #1 = ballroom dancing lessons

Wish me luck...but please, no "break a leg"....with coordination like mine, my two left feet may just take you literally.